Eight Arms Reading Room

I've just finished a three-day writing course about writing historical fiction (yes, I'm working on something contemporary right now but I also have something historical that's been in the works for a little while). The instructor was Ben Shattuck, whose short story collection The History of Sound includes a story set in the little coastal Maine village where I live in the summer.

During one of the sessions, we talked a bit about historical accuracy and how you can't believe everything you read about history, because he'd read about dildos in some history books about the Yankee whaling industry. These were called "he's-at-homes" and were purportedly gifted by whaling captains and crewmen to their wives who they'd leave for months at a time while they were at sea. To...um...ensure a wife's fidelity so she didn't have to turn to a local man for...um...satisfaction.

Ben did some research on these devices and found one (and only one, actually--hence the 'don't believe everything you read in history books' bit) that had been hidden in the chimney in an old home in Nantucket in a box along with a few other things, like some old letters to President Grover Cleveland. He interviewed the current homeowner and did a fair bit of research on the home's former owners to track down the history of the dildo (and the letters to President Cleveland).

The article is interesting, the topic fascinating and hilarious, and when I went home from class and told my wife about it, we spent the rest of the evening cooking a big pot of rather Yankee-like beans and greens and writing dirty limericks. As you do when you hear about a dildo in Nantucket...

And without further ado, here's the first limerick we wrote:

There once was a lady from Nantucket

Who found something tumescent in the coal bucket

Her husband said, "That's not me,

For I've been away at sea."

She'll lay back and think of Cleveland while she fucks it.

I'll post more over the next few days.