Eight Arms Reading Room

To his wife said the whaling ship's master

(To avoid certain marital disaster)

"When you're lonely for me

While I'm out at sea

Please enjoy this dildo made of plaster."

(The dildo hidden in the chimney described in that article about the he's-at-homes was apparently made of plaster. Another student in the writing course agreed with me that plaster is not, in our opinion, prime material for dildos. We feel sorry for her.)